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Subject: Europa-List: Aviation Definitions
From: Nigel Graham <nigelgraham@btclick.com>
Date: Tue, 19 Oct 2004 11:31:23

Hi guys,

It's been too long since somebody posted some frivolity.
Thanks and credit to Andy Faulkner.

Airspeed - An aircraft's speed. (Deduct 25% when listening to a 
homebuilder).
Bank       - The people who own most of a pilot's car.
Carburettor Icing  - A phenomenon reported by pilots just after they run out 
of fuel.
Cone of Confusion  - An area about the size of Hampshire located near the 
final approach beacon at airport.
Crab  - A VFR instructor's attitude on an IFR day.
Destination  - Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder 
saturation point.
Engine Failure  - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously 
become filled with low-octane air.
Firewall  - Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and 
smoke into the cockpit.
Flight   - FollowingFormation flying
Glide Distance  - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest 
emergency landing field.
Hobbs  - An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail 
during dual instruction.
Hydroplane  - An aircraft designed to land long on a short wet runway.
IFR  - A method of flying by needle and horoscope.
Lean Mixture  - Non-alcoholic beer.
Nanosecond  - The time delay between the low fuel warning light coming on 
and the onset of carburettor icing.
Parachutes  - The two 'chutes in a Stearman.
Parasitic Drag  - A pilot who bums a ride and then complains about the 
service.
Range  - Usually about three miles short of the destination.
Rich Mixture  - What you order at another pilots promotion party.
Roger  - Used when you're not too sure what else to say on the radio.
Spoilers  - CAA or FAA inspectors.
Stall  - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
Turn and Bank Indicator  - An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
Useful Load  - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.

....more at:

http://www.andyfaulkner.fsnet.co.uk/aviation/humour/aviation_humour.htm


Cheers

Nigel




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