>As usual a few jokes came my way. Can't beat a good lawyer joke.
>
>
> A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf
> course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the
>husband
> said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the
> ball- don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."
>The
> wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest
> house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to
>watch
> out for the houses! Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how
> much this is going to cost."
> They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on
> in." They opened the door and saw glass all
> over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A
> man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
>"Uh,
> yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied. "No, actually I want to
> thank you- I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that
> bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes- I'll
> give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."
> "OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million dollars a
> year for the rest of my life." "No problem-it's the least I could do.
> And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at
> the wife. "I want a house in every country of the world," she said.
> "Consider it done." the genie replied.
> "And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said. "Well,
> since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman
> in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your
> wife." The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a
>lot
> of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."
> The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours.
>After
> it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How
> old is your husband, anyway?" "35" she replied.
> "And he still believes in genies? That's amazing."
> Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
> A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
> Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their
>work.
> The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate
>on.
> Everything inside is numbered."
> "I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When
>you
> open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
> The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All
>their
> organs are color coded".
> The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless,
> spineless, gutless, and their head and their arse are
>interchangeable."
> Q. What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
> A. They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
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