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Aussie Chat No.4

Subject: Aussie Chat No.4
From: Tony Renshaw <renshaw@ozemail.com.au>
Date: Sun, 1 Feb 1998 08:38:42
Gidday,
More of the same!

>Subject: A Lovely Day to Duck Hunt
>
>
Michigan, USA.
>Guy buys brand new Grand Cherokee for 30 some thousand dollars and has
>400+ dollar monthly payments.  He immediately gets ahold of his friend
>and they go do some male bonding.  They go duck hunting, and of course
>all the lakes are frozen.
>These 2 Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and
>of course the new vehicle.  They drive out onto the lake ice and get
>ready.  Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for
>the ducks, something for the decoys to float on.  Remember, it's all ice
>and in order to make a hole large enough to look like something a
>wandering duck wants to fly down and land on, it is going to take a
>little more effort than a ice hole drill.
>Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with
>a short, 40 second fuse.
>Now these 2 Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that if they
>place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they
>are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee), they take the risk of slipping
>on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly going up in
>smoke with the resulting blast.  So, they decide to light this 40 second
>fuse and throw the dynamite, which is what they end up doing.
>Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the
>beer, the guns AND THE DOG ????
>Yes, the dog.  A highly trained Black Lab used for retrieving, especially
>things thrown by the owner.
>You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the
>ice and gets the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about
>the time it hits the ice, all to the woes of the 2 idiots yelling,
>stomping, waving arms and wondering what the hell to do now.
>The dog, well, it is happy and heads back from where it came from moments
>before,  with the stick of dynamite, only to the mounting woes of the 2
>bozos now really waving their arms, yelling even louder and jumping to
>new heights than ever before.
>Now one of the guys decides to think, something that he has never done
>before this moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog.  The shotgun is
>loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its
>appointed rounds.
>Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and continues on.  Another shot
>and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused & of
>course scared, thinking these 2 Nobel Prize winners have gone insane and
>takes off to find cover, with the now really short short fuse burning on
>this stick of dynamite.
>The cover the dogs finds?  Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee, 30
>some thousand dollar, 400+ monthly payment vehicle sitting on the lake ice.
>BOOM !
>The dog dies, and it and the brand new Grand Cherokee, 30 some thousand
>dollar, 400+ monthly payment vehicle, sink to the bottom of the lake
>leaving the 2 candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing
>there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.
>Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company which tells
>him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not
>covered.
>He had yet to make the first of those 400+ a month payments.


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