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Maintenance Complaints

Subject: Maintenance Complaints
From: Tony Krzyzewski <tonyk@kaon.co.nz>
Date: Wed, 11 Jun 1997 14:04:39
Fogive me for this one. It's not Europa oriented but it might bring a smile 
to a few faces.

Tony

> 
> >Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force
> >pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
> >
> >Problem:  "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
> >Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."
> >
> >Problem:  "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
> >Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
> >
> >Problem #1:  "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
> >Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
> >Problem #2:  "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."
> >
> >Problem:    "The autopilot doesn't."
> >Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."
> >
> >Problem:  "Something loose in cockpit."
> >Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."
> >
> >Problem:  "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
> >Solution: "Evidence removed."
> >
> >Problem:  "DME volume unbelievably loud."
> >Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."
> >
> >Problem:  "Dead bugs on windshield."
> >Solution: "Live bugs on order."
> >
> >Problem:  "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
> >Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
> >
> >Problem:  "IFF inoperative."
> >Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."
> >
> >Problem:  "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
> >Solution: "That's what they're there for."
> >
> >Problem:  "Number three engine missing."
> >Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> 
> 

---------------End of Original Message-----------------

---------------------------------------------------
Tony Krzyzewski    tonyk@kaon.co.nz
Managing Director  Ph 64 9 358 9124
Kaon Technologies  Fx 64 9 358 9127
Auckland
New Zealand

Networkers visit www.kaon.co.nz
Aviators visit   www.kaon.co.nz/europa/272index.html
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