Why I miss the old DH Beaver ---
We gotta get rid of turbines, they are ruining aviation. We need to go back
to big round engines. Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a
switch from "OFF" to "START," and then remember to move it back to "ON"
after a while. My PC is harder to start. Cranking a round engine requires
skill, finesse and style. On some planes, the pilots are not even allowed to
do it.
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot and
start whining louder.
Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click BANG, more
rattles, another BANG, a big macho fart or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke
and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a guy thing. When
you start a round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on
the flight ahead.
Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly
exciting. Turbines don't break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom,
complacency and inattention. A round engine at speed looks and sounds like
it's going to blow at any minute. This helps concentrate the mind. Turbines
don't have enough control levers to keep a pilot's attention There's nothing
to fiddle with during the flight.
Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns. Round engines
smell like God intended flying machines to smell.
I think I hear the nurse coming down the hall. I gotta go.
|